grief, grief as teacher, loss, Motivational poster, openness, transformation
Would you think I had lost my mind if I said that our losses can result in favorable changes in our lives? Probably but that’s OK. I would have thought the same thing a few years ago. Now, however, I can see transformations that might not have happened without my losses. Here are just a few of the ways that I’m different: I worry less. I wish I could say not at all but I’m not immune to fear. My worst nightmare came true and amazingly…I survived. It was awful, I don’t want to relive it and if I could wave a magic wand to make it go away I would. But I now know I can survive. I’m much less willing to settle for aspects of life that are not feeding my soul, my career for instance. Grief gave me the courage to respond to a calling rather than merely having a job. I have closer relationships with old friends and have experienced the love and caring of new friends. Did some people fall away during this time in my life? Yes, but I understand how uncomfortable it can be to be with someone in grief or making changes in their life as they learn to live with their whole hearts again. I have compassion for them and wish them nothing but good. I understand that we are all connected. I have more empathy for the pain of others than I did before and a desire to support them as they find their way. I know that love lives on. I could go on really but I think...
grief, just be, meditation, Motivational poster, music, Photograph by Tamara Beachum
“Just be,” was the sagest advice I received upon entering grief in full force. “What the heck does that mean?” is what I heard my internal voice silently reply. A dear friend who lost his wife nine months before I lost my own beloved gifted me with that message as we departed from another tear-soaked get together. Though I didn’t get it at the time, I came to understand. I remembered his advice and examined it periodically as I tried to live my new, strange life. But I didn’t do it right away. I tried to outrun grief first. It can’t be outrun. Don’t let your mind get weary and confused Your will be still, don’t try I found myself with the bizarre title of executrix and there was much involved in this business of concluding a life: car tags and titles to be changed, hospital bills to be paid, insurance company and hospital representatives to mediate, credit cards to cancel, clients to contact with the sad news and many papers to sign. It went on and on. I was very busy, purposely so I now realize. It felt like it was over a month before I even sat down. There was no time to just be. Truth be told, I was afraid of what would happen if I did quiet myself long enough. There were moments of torturous grief and I was certain that I would be swallowed whole by them if I sat still for too long. Don’t let your heart get heavy Child, inside you there’s a strength that lies Then the day came, I finally...
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