grief, just be, meditation, Motivational poster, music, Photograph by Tamara Beachum
“Just be,” was the sagest advice I received upon entering grief in full force. “What the heck does that mean?” is what I heard my internal voice silently reply. A dear friend who lost his wife nine months before I lost my own beloved gifted me with that message as we departed from another tear-soaked get together. Though I didn’t get it at the time, I came to understand. I remembered his advice and examined it periodically as I tried to live my new, strange life. But I didn’t do it right away. I tried to outrun grief first. It can’t be outrun. Don’t let your mind get weary and confused Your will be still, don’t try I found myself with the bizarre title of executrix and there was much involved in this business of concluding a life: car tags and titles to be changed, hospital bills to be paid, insurance company and hospital representatives to mediate, credit cards to cancel, clients to contact with the sad news and many papers to sign. It went on and on. I was very busy, purposely so I now realize. It felt like it was over a month before I even sat down. There was no time to just be. Truth be told, I was afraid of what would happen if I did quiet myself long enough. There were moments of torturous grief and I was certain that I would be swallowed whole by them if I sat still for too long. Don’t let your heart get heavy Child, inside you there’s a strength that lies Then the day came, I finally...
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