animal totem, grief, grief as teacher, spiritual, transformation
Twenty-plus women walked in silence through a labyrinth. In their hands they carried burdens – stones of various sizes – representing something they wanted to let go of: anger, shame, resentment, an event that could not be changed. As one of the leaders of the Redefining Loss to Live Wholeheartedly retreat, I stood on the outside of the circle, moved at the meditation taking place. But this story is not about them. It’s about the transformation that happened for me in that moment. Grief has gifts for us if we let it teach us. It took some distance from the raw days of early loss to see that. It clarified my priorities. Grief asked the question, “Are you willing to be unsatisfied with your work now? Still?” As I watched the women walking their own path but supporting each other with silent compassion, I understood that I was finally living my calling: offering supportive care, teaching, using my creative talents. New friends and deepened relationships with existing friends is another unexpected blessing. The last woman waiting to enter the labyrinth is a new friend; someone brought to me by the work she did with my husband. Beyond her stands my co-leader for the retreat, an angel who cared for us during Ken’s illness and for me long after. We went through our independent grief journeys as empathetic witnesses for each other. Our conversations showed me that though our losses were different we experienced similar emotions. We could listen to each other in our grief with understanding and without comparing losses. As the three of us stood there within arm’s...
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